11 Ridiculous British Laws

Where British Law is concerned, we all know our stuff right? Maybe not, when we take a closer look at some of these ridiculous and real British laws.

1. Cows on the Roadway at Night

Cows on the Roadway at Night

A real and official British law explicitly states, No cows may be driven down the roadway between 10AM and 7PM unless there is prior approval from the Commissioner of Police. We would assume that the Commissioner of Police has more important things to concern himself with then the driving of cows.

2. Suits of Armour in the House of Commons.

A lego knight on a horse

Yep, this one is real too. It is strictly illegal for a Member of Parliament to enter the House of Commons wearing a full suit of armour. We’d like to hope that things wouldn’t get so heated that a member of Parliament would actually need a suit of armour, so its nice to know that it is in fact illegal.

3. London Hackney Carriages

Cyclist and taxi driver on London road

We’ve definitely seen this law broken. London Hackney Carriages (taxis/cabs) must carry a bale of hay and a sack of oats at all times. We’re not sure how productive this would be. Any cab drivers out there, have you remembered your hay and oats today?

4. Naked Mannequins

Mannequins

Any boy under the age of 10 may not see a naked mannequin. This may be something that a number of high street shops need to address, what better reason to make sure window displays are looking absolutely top notch then British law itself.

5. Picking up Abandoned Luggage

Abandoned luggage

Next time you’re thinking about picking up that abandoned bag, think twice. It is actually classed as an act of terrorism to pick up abandoned luggage, so it would seem a shame to be whisked off to a jail somewhere for the sake of an abandoned bag.

6. Postage Stamps

Postage Stamps

Okay, this might be our absolute favourite. Placing a postage stamp that bears the Queen (or King) upside down is considered treason. It’s hard to believe that we would actually be imprisoned for such an offence but there is no denying that this will certainly make us that little bit more careful when we’re organising our post for the day.

7. Longbow Practice

Longbow archer side on shot

This law is probably not in existence any more, but for a time all English males over the age of 14 were required by law to carry out 2 or so hours of longbow practice a week supervised by the local clergy. We’re not sure how useful this law would be today, but at the time we’d imagine it could come in handy in case of a sudden invasion.

8. Shooting Welsh People

A bow and helmet

Yes, you heard us right, at one time the law stated that you can only shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow inside the city walls and after midnight. UmmmŠ—_we certainly do not endorse shooting welsh people at any time of day, in any location or with any form of weapon.

9. Mince Pies

mince pies on a plate

Time to go into hiding, we are definitely guilty of this one. Mince Pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day. This beggars belief, nothing beats a warm Mince Pie on Christmas Day after the roast turkey. Whatever next? No chocolate to be eaten on Easter Sunday?

10. Pregnant Ladies

pregnant woman

In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman’s helmet. This really begs the question as to whether there is a single policeman in the entirety of the UK who would willingly surrender their helmet for such an ordeal? We are guessing probably not, but British chivalry always surprises us.

11. Beached Whales

A whale breaching at sea

The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, whilst the tail becomes the property of the Queen. Personally, we’re not really sure what use the royal family would have for dead whale parts, but each to their own.

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